Remember Last Week When I Said ChatGPT Was Driving 20% of Walmart's Traffic? Yeah, Well, They Just Went Nuclear

Okay, remember literally LAST FRIDAY when I was losing my mind about ChatGPT quietly becoming Walmart's second-biggest traffic source? When I told you about those insane numbers—20% of referral clicks, 50 million shopping queries daily—and we were all like "wow, that escalated quickly"?

Well, grab your emotional support beverage of choice because OpenAI just said "hold my beer" and turned ChatGPT into an actual shopping mall.

I'm not even kidding. Yesterday—YESTERDAY!—they announced you can now buy stuff directly inside ChatGPT. No clicking out. No new tabs. Just chat, click, bought. The thing we were all nervously joking would happen "someday" just happened while we were having our morning coffee.

The "I Can't Even Process This Timeline" Timeline

Friday: "Hey everyone, ChatGPT is driving massive traffic to retailers!"

Tuesday: "LOL JK, ChatGPT IS the retailer now!"

This is like watching someone go from learning to ride a bike to immediately entering the Tour de France. Except the bike is an AI and the Tour de France is the entire $5 trillion e-commerce industry.

What Actually Just Happened (While We Were All Sleeping)

OpenAI dropped their Instant Checkout feature yesterday, starting with Etsy sellers and expanding to over a million Shopify merchants. I watched the demo at 2 AM (don't judge my sleep schedule) and legitimately had to check if I was still awake.

You literally just... chat with ChatGPT about what you need, it shows you products, and you buy them. Right there. In the chat window. Like you're texting with that friend who always knows where to find the best deals, except this friend has access to basically every online store and never gets tired of your indecisive shopping habits.

And here's the kicker: Remember how I told you last week that Amazon was blocking ChatGPT from crawling their site while Walmart was rolling out the red carpet? Yeah, that decision is aging like milk in the Sahara right about now.

The "Holy Shit They Built WHAT?" Technical Bombshell

OpenAI and Stripe co-created something called the Agentic Commerce Protocol. I know, I know, another protocol, but stick with me because this one actually matters.

It's basically universal plumbing that lets ChatGPT talk directly to any store's backend. Not just the big players. ANY STORE. Your cousin's Shopify ceramics store? ChatGPT can sell from it. That random Etsy seller who makes those weird cat portraits? Yep, them too.

This isn't OpenAI trying to be Amazon 2.0. They're not building a marketplace. They're building something way more ambitious and terrifying: a universal shopping layer for the entire internet.

Remember When I Said Amazon Might Regret Blocking ChatGPT?

Chef's kiss to the timing here.

Last week, Amazon was sitting pretty with their $56 billion advertising business, confident that blocking ChatGPT was the right move. "We don't need no stinking AI traffic," they basically said, while pushing Rufus, their own AI assistant that literally shows ads (because of course it does).

Meanwhile, Walmart's probably popping champagne right now. They went from getting 20% of their referral traffic from ChatGPT to potentially having ChatGPT become a direct sales channel for their 420 million SKUs.

That sound you hear? That's either Jeff Bezos's successor having a very bad morning or Walmart executives literally crying with joy. Possibly both.

The Numbers That Make My Brain Hurt

Last Friday, I told you about 50 million shopping queries hitting ChatGPT daily. That was when people still had to click through to actually buy things. Now they don't even need to leave the chat.

ChatGPT has 700 million weekly users. SEVEN. HUNDRED. MILLION.

For context, that's more than double Amazon's global active user base. And they all just got the ability to shop without ever visiting a traditional e-commerce site.

If even 1% of those users start buying through ChatGPT... actually, I can't even finish that calculation because my calculator app just started smoking.

The Part Where I Pretend I Know What This Means

Look, last week I was telling you to optimize for ChatGPT discovery. This week, I'm telling you that might not even matter because ChatGPT IS the discovery AND the checkout.

The fee structure is described as "small" (thanks for the specifics, OpenAI 🙄), but here's what really matters: they're using "organic and unsponsored" rankings based on relevance, availability, price, and quality.

Translation: That entire SEO playbook you've been perfecting for the last decade? Time to set it on fire and start over. We're back to throwing spaghetti at the wall, except now the wall is a superintelligent AI that might be judging our products based on vibes.

What Happens Next (Spoiler: Nobody Knows)

Last week, I said ignoring ChatGPT traffic was no longer an option. This week, I'm saying if you're not actively figuring out how to sell through conversational AI, you're already behind.

The infrastructure they're building isn't just for current shopping. They're preparing for "agentic" capabilities—AI that shops FOR you based on your preferences. Like:

"Hey ChatGPT, my kid grew out of their shoes again." "Based on their last three pairs and current weather patterns, I've ordered two pairs from different brands. They'll arrive Thursday."

This isn't next decade. This is next year. Maybe next month at the rate things are accelerating.

The "What Do I Actually Do?" Section

Remember everything I told you last Friday about optimizing for ChatGPT? Cool, now add these to your panic list:

If you're on Shopify or use Stripe: Start looking into this Agentic Commerce Protocol thing NOW. Being first on a new platform is like getting Manhattan real estate in 1624.

If you're Amazon-exclusive: You're invisible to this revolution. It's like opening a store in a city that banned roads. Maybe reconsider that exclusivity deal?

If you're Walmart/Target/Etsy: You accidentally won the lottery. Don't screw it up by being slow to adapt.

Everyone: Your product descriptions need to make sense to an AI that's having a conversation. Not keywords. Not bullet points. Actual, helpful, conversational information.

The Bottom Line That Keeps Moving

Last Friday, I told you ChatGPT had become a major traffic driver. Today, it's become a sales channel. By next Friday, it might be running its own Prime Day equivalent.

We went from "AI might change shopping someday" to "AI is shopping" in literally five days. FIVE. DAYS.

Amazon spent 30 years building their e-commerce empire. ChatGPT just built a competing infrastructure in the time it takes to get a package delivered.

And here's the really wild part: We thought we were watching the slow evolution of e-commerce. Turns out we were watching the warm-up act. The main show just started, and nobody knows the script.

P.S. - I'm fully aware that by the time you read this, OpenAI will probably have announced ChatGPT can now telepathically understand what you want to buy before you know you want it. At this rate, nothing would surprise me.

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😍It was great, all I needed

🙂Good, not great

🙄It sucked